My mood darkened. The members of my coven
decided I was no longer fun to be around and took the
party elsewhere. As they pulled out of the driveway,
I stood in the house and watched. Now I could be alone.
I went outside to clear the confusi...on from my
head. Alcohol and drugs now made me sick to my
stomach. I couldn’t die! S__t! I couldn’t even smoke! The
weight of my life made my body feel heavy. With no other
way of escape, I walked back into the house and lay down
on my bed. If I could just sleep, I could relieve my pain.
I fell on my bed and laid on my stomach, staring at
the wall. With a sigh that came from the depths of my
being, I closed my eyes. From the pit of my stomach
came a sob. Without being able to control myself, I began
Years of seeking answers had produced nothing.
Everything I had touched had failed. I just wanted to die
and had failed at even that. Failure. I was nothing more
than a failure.
My tears brought tremendous relief. I continued to
weep for several more minutes.
From the quiet of the house came a voice, strong and clear: "Get out!"
Excerpt From Darkness to Light